Doric Ionic

Siouxsie Sioux - Here Comes That Day (Fuzzy Kerbox Remix)

Today I moved out of my flat, and had to deal with all the packing/cleaning bullshit that comes with that.

Part of this cleaning is about throwing junk out. Every time I move house, I'm at a loss to decide how to deal with the massive amounts of loose change that builds up. 

So today, instead of taking it to the bank or whatnot, I decided to do something different. I will represent the story in photo-journal format.



Here is the collection. It's mainly British pence, but there's also money from China, Russia, Romania, Denmark, and some other places. There was even a two Euro coin.



You could render a man unconscious if you swung it like a sack of door knobs.



I made a sign.



And dumped it outside next to my 2nd floor kitchen window.



I figured it would be gone in a matter of 30 seconds or so.



It took fucking ages for anyone to walk past.



I didn't reckon with the collective ability of people to ignore anything that looks like a bag of rubbish.



So after fifteen minutes of being massively fucking bored, I moved the bag by one foot.



And then this guy walked right on past.



After ten seconds he shuffled back, kicked the bag, and went for it. Success! 



The bag is gone.



And our hero rides off into the sunset, roughly £6.50 richer in incredibly small, impractical denomonations. 

In other news, I have a girlfriend for the first time in seven years. She lives 338 miles away in Edinburgh, it's not easy. Tomorrow I go back to Western Australia to see most of my family and friends for the first time in two years. I'm gonna be in Melbourne next week too, and I'm going to Paris in February. 

And I need a new flat in East London. Cripes! Busy times.

Last year I pondered in my previous blog the connection between Toxoplasma Gondii and crazy cat ladies. Finally, the scientific world has caught up with my enormous, pulsating brain.

I also want to purchase a human skull, but I cannot afford one, nor do I need one. I have better things to spend my money on. I've decided that next year, I will (perhaps over the new year) go in search of the Northern Lights. The Aurora! It's going to be rad. I'd love to ring in the 2009 in the most Northern, inhospitable regions of Norway, standing alone in sub-zero temperatures, observing a bizaare celestial phenomenon colour the night sky. 

Two months from now, I'm going to be back in Australia with my friends and family for the first time in two years.  

Does anyone know a good online sock monkey store?

I just had dinner with a bunch of lesbians, three of which were among the hottest I've ever seen in my life. A fourth doesn't count because I've known her for too long. I was unfocused with my meal, to say the least. Afterwards, they all went to a lesbian night at some club, so I decided to go buy three books, then come home and post to my livejournal. BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING A NERD.

I had a bath this afternoon. In this bath, I began daydreaming. Can you imagine if friendly aliens had come to Earth during the Cold War, and decided to deal primarily with the two major superpowers? How would the US and Russian governments deal with this? What would the aliens make of these humans? Obviously we wouldn't attack them, but I was just trying to imagine the how advanced, spacefaring aliens might react to the inane, pointless rhetoric of human politicians. I kinda think they would just call bullshit on us and fuck off to a planet that's not so hopelessly wayward. I often wonder what aliens would make of humanity, what with their keen, objective bug eyes. 

I don't know if I like this. I mean, I do, but I have issues. But I once heard someone say you should never apologise for a bad performance, and I believe that particular philosophy is wise. I hate it when artists of any kind point out whats wrong with their own work. And besides, I spent over 7 hours on this already, so I just want to have something to show for it. Maybe I'll redo it later. 

Anyway, after I posted my last Bear v. Panda picture in an LJ community called Illustrators, I found that a couple of Russian people responded to the subject matter. Illustrators has loads of Russian artists who usually make very angsty, tortured images, but upon investigating their actual blogs I found they're full of some fucking random, far out, awesome, unexplained shit. EG: this one, and especially this one. Sweet.

I think one of my housemates might have seen me naked today.

Tomorrow, I depart for Edinburgh with my friends Mim and Magda, to meet my friends Jo, Ros, Caroline and Daniel. Good times will be had.

Good times indeed.

White Zombie - More Human Than Human (Lorn Remix)
Max Romeo - Chase The Devil

In a massively ironic moment, I got punched in the face the other night for telling some dude in Soho that his Australian accent was really fucking annoying. I've never been punched properly before. It was totally sweet! 

I'm a lover, not a fighter, but I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing so I wasn't interested in fighting back. I was too drunk to do so anyway. The only shit thing was, while the guy landed a good one on my face, he somehow also ended up hitting the girl next to me twice. Not too badly, but enough to diminish the awesomeness of the whole thing. Plus, I still have a wee mark on my face that kinda looks like a pimple. But it was still very exciting. 

The whole ordeal has made me wonder about my Australian-ness though. While I don't even notice it with my friends, I pretty much hate the accent on anyone I don't already know. I love everything else about the country though. Except the government. And the casual racism and homophobia. And loads of other stuff. Really what I'm trying to say is that England has 24-hour alcohol licensing, and Australia has to fight pretty hard for my love if it wants to compete with that. 

My brother unexpectedly begifted me with a free ticket to see Brian Wilson last night.* I actually got to see the man himself play Surfin' USA, I Get Around, Good Vibrations, Sloop John B, and God Only Knows, backed up by a phenomenal live band of up to 18 people. The musical odyssey of the last 6 months that is my life continues.  


* I met him a few years ago. He signed my copy of Pet Sounds. My brother met him after I left last night. He signed his Pet Sounds shirt.

I accidently pissed on a mosque the other night. I didn't know it was a mosque. Some muslim kids came out and started yelling at me. I told them I was sorry and they said "I'd better be". I've never been threatened by someone under 14 years old before. 

Not much else has happened lately. I booked some tickets for a holiday up to Edinburgh next month, so I currently have 6 flight bookings to my name. That's a funny thought, it makes me feel like some kind of cool international jet-setter type person. Unless my life has become something I'm not fully aware of, that seems unusual to me. But I don't think it has.

Aside from that, things are really hotting up, because this Tuesday night I have tickets to see.....




There are two musicians who are so incredible to me, so massive, so important, that as a small(ish) town chap from far-away Western Australia, the idea of ever seeing them live, in the flesh, was so remote and unfeasible that it was never considered. One is Springsteen, the other is Prince. And I am rapidly approaching the Zero Hour. 

Here are some bears that hate each other. I don't know why I made them hate each other. They just do. That's what nature is like. Cruel and awesome.

 

I've been thinking lately. As I grow up, I get hit in the nuts a lot less. I don't know if this happens to all men, but personally I realise I probably don't do as many dangerous activites as I did when I was a child. I can only think of one time on the last year when I've had my balls whammed. It's pretty good, I guess. I dunno. My brother once threw a Nintendo cartidge at me when I was little. I tried to dodge it by doing some kind of spazzed-out ninja roll across the floor, but consequently my legs splayed in his direction and I suffered a Super Mario right to my ballbag.

Dr.Octagon - Trees (Spankrock Remix)
Pharoahe Monch - Welcome To The Terrordome 

This is the first time I've done one of these. Deep breath...

The Rules:

* Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
* People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
* At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
* Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog

...from

exponen7

...

1) I used to eat cat food as a small child. Heaps of it. I would run over to my cats bowl, grab a handful of biscuits, then charge into the lounge room and bury my head inbetween the cushions and stuff my face while no one could see me. I can still remember the taste.

2) I have a secret walk that I very rarely do when I go down staircases and I'm positive no one is watching. No one will ever see it.

3) I spent three years working in a photo lab. My friend Hermione and I were both at the same company where we ran the store by ourselves on different days. We would leave each other notes, puzzles and treasure hunts at the end of every shift, so the other one could find them the next morning. We made an album out of other peoples photos. It's awesome. If you ask nicely, I might show you one day. But probably not, seeing as she has it. 

4) The first time I ever saw snow fall was early last year in Ulaan Bataar, Mongolia. We were in a bar drinking vodka. I ran outside to play in it, and was immediately challenged to a wrestling match by a Mongolian man. I lost. As he helped me up, another one came over and challenged me again. I lost. I found out shortly afterwards that wrestling is considered a national sport in that particular country. 

5) Twice, I have tried to punch someone in the face. Andrew Leivers during high school because he hit me first, and some random metalhead outside a kareoke bar because he was abusing my friend Claire. Both times my fist glanced off their face with little to no effect. But I still maintain that if I had to throw down, like, properly, I would be awesome.

6) I hate it when people say 'I don't wanna have any regrets' or anything along those lines. I see regrets as a sign that you've learnt from your mistakes, and that you've reflected upon your life meaningfully and realistically. A lot of the time they're also a dead giveaway that you've done some crazy, far out shit. And for better or worse, what's life without that? It's all fucking Oprah Winfrey and albums by Aerosmith (post 1970/80's drug habits), that's what. LAME.

7) Aerosmith was the first album I ever bought, back in 1993. It was Get a Grip, back when I was about ten years old. I regret it. 

8) I just wrote out a final factoid about my beliefs in the afterlife. But I decided it's too personal to tell in such an impersonal forum. So I deleted it and wrote this instead.


So now I tag.....

slushpup

rubine

digitalduck

the_jenk

nickbiteme

shockonthefaces

blockrockinbeat

unplode

So much is lost in the scanning. *sigh*

So this was it. The greatest week of my life. 



As I sat and wrote this mammoth entry, directly outside the window I was facing in the pub I was sitting typing and drinking coffee in, there was a huge car crash. But I was so engrossed in writing and listening to Diana Ross on my iPod I didn't even notice.
 

(* updated with chronologically accurate details of the band schedule - 15.07.07)

Anyway, to celebrate the number of cigarettes I smoked there, I decided to draw this picture.



Yesssss!!!!


In other news, I've offically carved my beard into mutton chops. We all know it was only a matter of time.

I feel than any piece of art can be improved by naming it after a 4th level wizard spell from Dungeons & Dragons. 



Although back when I used to play, I was never a wizard. Oh no. 

I was a WARRIOR. I had 18/33 exceptional strength that gave +3 damage to all my blows. I once rolled the most awesome 20 ever, killing a kobold with a single punch to the head. Then I stuffed its retarded corpse into a hole in the wall. Plus, one time, after fighting an undead abomination, I received a nasty case of mummy rot that lowered my charisma points, meaning I had to stand at the back during interactions with innkeepers and mysterious lone travellers, like I was some upsettingly hideous, deformed, musclebound freak. I was not to be fucked with.

Le Tigre - Hot Topic
Silversun Pickups - Lazy Eye (Curtis Vodka Edit)

Does anyone else want to talk about music or Dungeons & Dragons? 

(ps. Beard is going well. It's a bit itchy, but I like it. I think it makes me look like Ryan Gosling in Half Nelson*)




* ...Delusional?

YOU DECIDE! :D